Well it's the Month of Jan, we waved goodbye to 2014 on the 31st December and are now welcoming the year 2015. I'm not one to set new years resolutions really, ok I lie maybe I always have a mental list going but I've never actually physically written anything down, perhaps it was the fear of disappointing myself when I didn't actually accomplish what I had initially intended to and the mere fact that it was on paper, I would have probably drowned myself in a pool of my own tears in realisation of the fact that I actually lied to myself.
Ain't nothing wrong with compiling a list of New Years resolutions, incase you're out there scribbling away- sorry to have killed your mojo there. 2014 was a very challenging year for me, I was faced with a lot of personal struggles. It was the year that I asked myself too many questions, most of which I never had answers to. It was the year I turned 25 and the shit storm of self doubt hit me, what they call as the quarter-life crises. I think I can still remember it slowly creeping in when I turned 24. Life is such a hack in your 20's, who am I in relation to the world? Where is my place? and What do I have to offer to the world? Familiar much?? Anyway I'm not sure how 2015 will go but I do hope that I manage to find the answers to the questions I've been asking myself for the past 2 years.
2014 wasn't all bad, I guess the whole point of this thing called 'Life' is that we have to go through different experiences, good or bad in order to grow and actually come a few steps closer to realising who we are. I've compiled a list of the worst and best times in 2014 and a list of things I hope I will achieve in 2015 - these are not new years resolutions... OK fuck it! Maybe they are.
In no particular order, here is my list:
Worst Moments of 2014
- When I had the opportunity to upgrade my cellphone and got the phone I've always wanted, and only to lose it close to the end of the year, what a hack! I got another one though, thanks to my insurance.
- The struggles I faced in the workplace for a period of about 2 month, I just couldn't get anything right and it was during the period of one of our biggest projects.
- When I was told that I still had to earn way more than I do currently, in order to afford the car I want Ford Figo, one day Mchana
- Struggling with issues in my relationship and realising that I needed to change and accept somethings about myself (good and bad moment I guess.)
- Crying so many times because I had failed my drivers license test
- Sourcing for shoots with public transports. At-least when I do get a car I'll have a story to tell.
- Finding out something and not being able to express how you feel.
- Realising that even family will let you down and just because they are family doesn't mean they should be trusted.
- Losing friends to cities and other jobs
- Hoochies who are always trying to replace you.
Best moments of 2014
- The growth and prosperity of my relationship, I can truly say we're best friends now.
- Obtaining my drivers license - on my 6th try I made that test my bitch and brought the goods home.
- Work trip to the Seychelles
- The relationship I have with my mom just keeps getting better and better.
- The realisation that you don't always need a group of people around to have a good time, the man and I make the perfect team.
- Getting a raise at work, my boss really fought for me as she promised she would. I thank her for that.
- My first trip to Jozi with the manz and my instant love for the city and it's passionate people.
- Moving house
- Making new friends and being inspired by people in general.
- Stumbling upon an inspirational website about self development and finding oneself. So much truth in there. Check it out.
- Styling a few well-known celebs for shoots
- Voting for the first time, I decided to be a part of the movement - I felt mature enough to make a decision about the future of our country unlike a few years ago.
- Painting a children's creche on Mandela Day, it changed something in me. I felt really good.
- The birth of my blog and I actually managed to raise it well.
What I hope to achieve in 2015
- Build a strong relationship with God, I need that guy on my side.
- Good exercise and healthy eating plan for a healthier and well functioning body
- I'd like to build a better relationship with my dad, I'd like for him to get to know me as well as my mom does.
- I'd like for my dad to know Ayanda as more than just a friend
- Experiencing Jozi for a little bit longer
- Career and personal growth
- Delving into the world of entrepreneurship
- Buying a car
- Travel opportunities
- Putting my ideas to practice
- Reading more books
- Growing my blog
- Focusing more on my music and not allowing it to take a back seat in my life. The time is now!
- Meeting Missmillib :-) My #Woman Crush, my inspiration
- Compiling my vision board
- Going to motivational talks and creative spaces
- Taming my temper and communicating better
- Respecting other in order to be respected.
- The knowledge that a man has a rightful place as being the head of a home and that you won't lose your independence by allowing him to take his place. As long as he acknowledges your place as the queen by his side and loves and respects your independence and uplifts it instead of crushing it.
- For people to see far beyond me and to realise my many talents and skills.
- Pushing myself more and feeding my hunger for wanting more and doing more.
- Equipping myself with more
- Working more on my photography in order to develop the skill
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