50 shades of awkward

So last night the manz took me on a movie date to go see the much anticipated 50 Shades of Grey. I never read the books, I mean I did try, but I just couldn't. It was not because of the authors gory details on how Christian likes it, but more of the way the book was written. It took me back to popular primary school reads like Sweet Valley High. 

I'm sure some people found it to be a well written book and others like me, not so much. Based on the the storyline of the book one would expect something more gripping. I didn't really read the books so maybe I shouldn't really have an opinion. 

I did however see the movie as I mentioned above. All I'll say is; if someone ever asks if you've ever watched porn before, if you've seen the fifty shades movie, then your answer should be a very firm 'yes' because that's pretty much what the crux of the movie is about; A smoking hot rich boy with a love for chains, whips and 'FUCKING' (cough) He said it, not me. If you watched the movie you'd understand.

Most scenes in the movie were quite uncomfortable, I mean have you seen the size of the screen in cinemas? Which means, the bigger the screen the bigger the action. I was cringing and kept on sliding on my seat because things got super awkward. The manz obviously thought I was being ridick. I think I'd be more comfortable to watch those kind of scenes in a room with say about, 5 people, but that cinema was filled to the masses and it was just, I repeat, super awkward! 

Even though I kept trying to make myself disappear with every sex scene. I am so glad the filmmakers didn't make Christian shove things down the poor girls privates. Being the weird, sadistic character he is, I was convinced things would be inserted in various holes (ok I need to stop with the suggestive words) 

After the movie all the girls were handed a little goodie bag. Inside was a Glamour mag, box of tampons, fake nail set and a pencil with the word 'Grey' on it. Similar to the one Anastasia had in the first scene. I guess the people from Sterk kinekor figured all the females would be traumatised afterwards and we'd all need a pick-me-up, a little something to make us feel good and make us forget Christian and his 'Play room.' We are more than happy to have him in our dreams but not in reality.

I think I'll give the tampons away and keep the rest of the goodies, I'm sure you can imagine why.... you dirty minded person you!!! lol